New Year. New Me.

This week alone has shown me why my friends in the past completing their graduate programs disappeared when the school year started. Thursday was the first day of KU classes, and Thursday also happens to be my only day on campus (three classes that consist of me sitting at a desk from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.). Already, the stack of reading is as tall as I am, which should be okay, since I don't have class until Thursday. Incidentally, I am also enrolled in a fourth class, which consists of acting as intern at an agency in Topeka for 24 hours a week. So while I don't have class until Thursday, I'm playing psychotherapist for eight hours a day, Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday. No biggie, eh? I'll just take my homework with me and work on it during the down time.

Here's my schedule for my internship:


Office 208
MONDAY
(8-5)
8-9—INDIV APPT
9-10— INTAKE APPT
10-11—GRP SUP PREP
11-1—INTERN GRP SUP W/DONNA
1-2—LUNCH
2-3—INDIV APPT
3-4—INDIV APPT
4-5—ADMIN

TUESDAY
(10-8)
10-11—INDIV APPT
11-12—RELATIONSHIP GRP (330)
12-1—LUNCH
1-2—INDIV APPT
2-3—INDIV APPT
3-4—ADMIN
4-5—INDIV SUP W/DONNA
5-6—INDIV APPT
6-7—INDIV APPT
7-8—ADMIN

WEDNESDAY
(8-4)
8-9—INDIV APPT
9-10—ADMIN
10-11—PROCOVERY GRP (2401)
11-12—LUNCH
12-1:30—DBT GRP (330)
1:30-2—TEAM SUP MTG
2-3—INDIV APPT
3-4—ADMIN

So you may notice two things. One, not a lot of down time. Two? My own freaking office! I'm not sure why that always excites me, since I always had my own office in my BSW level positions (both during my internship and at the women's shelter), but for some reason, it makes me feel like I'm kind of important. It's also a little terrifying, because it would be nice to have another individual there to jump in when they realize I'm completely warping the client on an emotional and cognitive level (good practice for parenthood).

So... getting reading done? Should be interesting. Fortunately I have a system set up where I'm forced to do a bulk of the reading Thursday evening/Friday morning. Finances are tight right now (which should surprise you, what with the both of us in school, and grad school being almost unbelievably expensive), so when I looked at the list of text books I needed, I almost cried. Now, I'm not one to purchase textbooks, but I really want to do well in my grad program. I want to get a 4.0 so when it comes time to apply for a doctorate program, I'll have no problems getting a nice, cushy monetary package offered. I also want to participate a ton in my classes, so my professors will all be willing to offer nice, cushy recommendation letters on my behalf when job hunting season starts. I also kind of want to be competent when people put their emotional well being in my hands. I managed then to make arrangements with fellow students/professor (one of my professors, I can already tell, is fantastic/super hero material) to borrow the text book Thursday evening and return it Friday. My arrangement with the student is that in exchange for allowing me to borrow the books, I'll give her a digital copy of my outline. That makes it so I can't just bring the book home Thursday, decide to be lazy and not read, and then just return it Friday. No siree. I have to read it, outline it, and send it on its way. Accountability and scheduling works well for me. It makes me get things done. I'm very task-oriented, so this should help me be successful in this semester.

I have to make sure other parts of my life don't suffer as a result. My goal is to wake up at 5:30 a.m. to take my dogs running before I have to be out of the house by 7 (to get to my internship by 8 in Topeka, or to get to Twente to print off the articles that need to be read for my classes for the following week). My body's going to have to get retrained into that schedule, which means no naps (I was utterly exhausted yesterday after getting up at 6, and ended up crashing for an hour and a half in the evening. It felt absolutely glorious at the time, but then I didn't fall asleep until long after midnight). I can do this!

So, Blog, you may be neglected over the next several weeks. I only take time to write now because I know it's going to be a while before I can update. Being a grad student gives you super powers... it gives you the ability to disappear. *POOF*

I ate old beans.

School starts in a week (well, technically, five days). I'm ready to pee my pants in anticipation. It's a little bittersweet, because it is a short program and it means that after this Thursday, I only have one more first day of the semester (and I'm a geeky kid who really enjoys school), but on the other hand, I really like school! So Thursday is a very exciting day for me.

A week from Monday also marks the first day of my practicum at Valeo in Topeka, which I'm pretty excited about. At first, I had no idea how I was going to jump into a clinical setting and be able to actually do psychotherapy, but after looking over the orientation materials, I'm feeling a little more calm about the whole thing. I can tell that I'm getting back into the love I have for my field (my BSW level position burned me out a bit) because I went to the library the other day and left with my arms full of books that were all sorts of social work-y and documentaries to match. I've already read through An Unquiet Mind and encourage anyone and everyone to pick it up. It really humanizes mental illness, bipolar disorder in particular. It's also incredibly well written, so I managed to finish it in a couple days.

I'm a little in love with my Blackberry. It's having some technical issues (or I'm having some technical issues-- jury's still out), but for the most part, it's amazing. And orange. Which I also love. Right now, I have Pandora going on my phone, which is delightful since I have a bandwidth cap on my home internet, but unlimited data on my phone (three cheers for having a husband who works for Sprint), so I get to listen to all the Owl City radio station I want. Delightful. I also spent much of my morning in my sick bed (see the title of this blog) watching Grey's Anatomy on Sprint TV. uhMAYzing. PS: If you didn't know, Season 5 comes out September 15th, which gives me just over a week to re-watch the season before Season 6 premiers on the 24th. In case you were wondering, yes-- it is VERY important to re-watch the previous season. Never mind that I'll be in graduate school with a 24 hour a week practicum with a 1.5 hour commute three days a week and working part time on top of it all. My goal this semester is to not procrastinate at all... let's see how well that pans out.

On that note, I'm really glad we opted to get rid of the nutrition class. On our first day at church here, Bobby and I saw that some sort of program was needed. We had really high hopes for the exercise group and the nutrition class, and in the beginning, there was a lot of excitement. Then it faded to the point where no one was interested at all. It was the epitome of "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it eat its fruits and veggies." I find it fascinating how our culture has evolved to the point where the people who eat right and exercise are "fanatics," and it's considered politically incorrect to call someone's extra weight or obesity a problem, and even suggesting they change their lifestyle so they can become healthier is insulting. Maybe when Bobby goes through his graduate program, he'll learn techniques for approaching individuals in such a way that they find less aggressive and more genuine, which is actually how he feels. I guess the bright side of people not being ready/willing to change is that I now have 5 extra hours a week where I'm not preparing and giving a class. That means more time for class, and more time for keeping up with my homework.

I'm really excited about this semester. I have a really good feeling for what's to come.

Accidentally Vegan

I've discovered that for the most part, I've become an accidental vegan. It's interesting that with all of the information about nutrition (especially saturated fats), my food choices have really been limited to plant based foods. Bobby also read about the benefits of choosing foods that have only 10% of their calories that come from fat, and since making that a goal, animal products aren't really an option. I did have cottage cheese yesterday, but for the most part, it's all plants. I've heard horror stories about vegans not getting enough protein, but I'm not really sure how that happens-- lentils and legumes are chalk full of protein, as well as soy products. Hmm. I think there are just a lot of misconceptions about nutrition across the board.

iTunes has been doing a fantastic thing lately where included in their free download section is a workout video. I've acquired a yoga video (10 minutes to do at night before bed as sort of a wind down), and yesterday found a 10 minute full body workout. Of course, the recommendation is at least 30 minutes a day of moderate exercise (I'm not sure the yoga is enough for me to consider "moderate" simply because it doesn't get my heart rate up), but with the benefits of exercise being greater if done first thing in the morning, having the 10 minute video means I can get a little bit in before I do everything else, and then exercise later. Lovely.

So I found this video, and for the most part, I like it. The bits about how childhood obesity is often a result of poor lifestyle choices made by the parents really resonates with me (mostly because my mom was an emotional eater, and I learned that a bad day is made better by downing a couple Butterfingers), and is one of the reasons why I was really excited about the nutrition class. I'm big on parenting (between being a social worker and a product of a parental unit in dire need of emotional intervention), and I recognize how lifestyle choices really influence what happens to a child. If there are cookies and ice cream in your home, why shouldn't the child snack on them? If they don't grow up seeing Mom and Dad making exercise a priority, why would the child? If there aren't fruits and vegetables available to ensure everyone gets their 5-9 servings a day, how can you expect the kid to learn the importance of such? Childhood obesity not only has physical implications (stress on joints, cardiovascular problems, diabetes, etc), but the emotional component is HUGE (no pun intended). Everyone feels awkward and uncomfortable in their own skin anyway when they're in junior high-- imagine adding the handicap of being overweight (which, in spite of shows like "More to Love"'s best efforts to thwart, being overweight is scientifically proven to be unhealthy and leads to chronic disease... not that anyone who is overweight is unlovable, but it is an indication of an underlying problem where the individual is not taking care of him or herself, which could be a result of ignorance, emotional issues, physical problems, etc).

Anyway. Alarm bells went off when the little girl said "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels," because that's a huge mantra in the eating disorder community. Adopting that idea can lead to serious trouble. People need to eat in order to live, so perhaps she could say instead, "Eat to live, don't live to eat." Food shouldn't be a crutch or have so many emotions tied to it. It should taste good, but it should also benefit you for longer than just that moment it's on your taste buds. If what you're eating is doing more harm than good, stop putting it in your mouth. People enjoy smoking, but it's killing them. The same can be said about doughnuts.

I think I broke my toe.

I'm a planner. I have a planner, and I am a planner. I like knowing what is going to happen before it happens, and I spend far too much time daydreaming about those things and what they will look like, what I'll be doing, how I'll feel, and all the wonderful things that will happen when those things happen. It makes it difficult for me to be present, but it also makes me very capable of organizing things.

Until recently, I was feeling a little anxious (see: a LOT anxious). We had vague plans for our future, but nothing was really concrete. Fortunately, I rediscovered my financial love affair with Dave Ramsey, and listening to his podcasts have brought some of that planning back into my life. We've been budgeting and financial planning like fiends as of late, and it has been absolutely delightful. Planning, planning, planning.

Then last night, after battling a brief bout of insomnia, Bobby decided to explore what graduate programs the University of Utah had to offer. After hunting around a little bit, we discovered something uhMAYzing. Have you ever sat and said, "Man, I wish there were a career that did this, this, and this, so I could do what I love and get paid for it." The University of Utah HAS THAT PROGRAM. I'm a little in love with it, and I'm not even going into it. I'm getting extremely prematurely excited, but I'm a planner. And this definite possibility makes me very, very happy. It would also mean we could move back to Utah in a couple years, which would be fantastic.

It'd be kind of fun to go to the beach for a while.