Sunday, September 21, 2008

Canine flatulence.

Bedtime was actually a half hour ago, but it seems my anxiety is up for some reason and isn't allowing me to fall asleep as easily. In that time, Peli has farted probably 20 times, reminding me why dogs eat dog food and not chicken breasts served at work picnics.

Yesterday, I went with our dog trainer, Stacie, to Salem to help her out with a pet fair. She had to set up a booth and distribute information about being a responsible pet owner, and also MC'ed several of the demonstrations. I readily agreed when she asked me to accompany her, because I think she's pretty fabulous and I love all things animal related. We were driving there in her SUV with her pit bull she's fostering in a crate in the back, and Peli was sitting in the middle. The middle seat was down to make room for things, so Peli wasn't buckled in (yes, my dog has a harness so she can be buckled in when we're in the car. I'm protective, not neurotic). Stacie asked if Peli liked the window rolled down, which is actually one of Peli's favorite things in the world. There are two things you can do to make her absolutely wiggle with joy: Go on a car ride (bonus points for a window rolled down) and taking her into the mountains for a hike. Stacie rolled down the window and asked, "She won't jump, right?" Of course not. She loves to stick out as much of her body as she can, but she never jumps. Three dog classes have ingrained some sort of common sense in her, so she would know not to jump out of a car going 40+ mph.

I was mid-sentence in telling a story when Peli was gone.

Stacie immediately pulled off to the side, and before she had even stopped I jumped out of the car and ran into the middle of a very busy street to rescue Peli. Hyperventilating, I automatically imagined finding my little girl lying in the middle of the road, either from jumping out of a car going that fast or from getting hit by a car. Instead, she was standing in the middle of the street, looking around as if to say, "Now what?" I couldn't decide whether to throw up or cry, so instead settled on informing Peli that she will have to settle with just car rides and not car rides with the window down. Ever. I'm pretty sure I lost a few years off my life.

Last night was the shop party for Bobby's work, which was pretty fantastic. It was a big campout in a beautiful part of the mountains, and it was catered by a restaurant that was much nicer than anything we ever go to (going camping with gourmet food that we don't have to pack? Talk about vacation). It was fun watching all the other people from the other shops throwing back, and then observing the Provo boys standing off to the side, sipping their sodas and then going to bed at 10:30 (everyone else was going strong till 2 a.m.). This morning, most of the crew went on a mountain bike ride, and I stayed behind to do what I do best: hang out with the dogs. There were some insanely cute dogs there, and I was in hog heaven. Peli went nuts playing with everyone. One of the guys there went on a hike with his two golden retrievers, and took a large mutt with him (a very sweet dog named Lacey). While they were out hiking, Lacey kept going off the trail (something Peli often does), and would run back, until she didn't run back. The guy taking her looked for a bit then assumed she ran back to the camp site. She didn't. A fellow dog lover and I took Peli out and we wandered around the area, looking for Lacey. It was a huge downer to what had been a really fun experience, and I could only imagine what her owner was feeling. After looking for a few hours, her owner went to the park station to tell them to look for a dog and found that someone had seen Lacey and picked her up and brought her there. Thank goodness for Peli's classes-- she doesn't need a leash when we hike because she always comes back when we call her. Maybe next class she'll learn not to jump out of a freaking window.

The party ended with the owner of the shops handing out a bunch of free stuff, and he let people pick by shop, starting with the individuals the shop managers felt deserved special recognition. After those people all went, he then let the rest of the people working at the shops go, starting with the shop that was having the best year. Bobby ended up being recognized for his hard work, so he got a new roof rack and a pretty sweet jacket. It's a good thing, too, because the Provo shop is doing the worst of all the shops, so by the time everyone else from there went, there were only t-shirts left. The owner was also handing out bib shorts ($100+ a pop) that had the store name on them. Bobby asked if there was a small I could snag, and he gave us one (a huge deal, because he can be a jerk when he's at the shop). I went up and thanked him, and explained that Peli had chewed my other shorts and that they were being held together with a pretty sketchy sewing job, so I really appreciated the new shorts. With that, he pulled out a second pair of bib shorts and handed them to me. Hot dang!

The Lord has really blessed us. We went to the temple last week and have made a goal to be more adament about that, because as Bobby put it, "we don't really deserve the blessings we get no matter what we do, but we might as well try to be a little more worthy of them." My new job is amazing. The people I work with are great, and I have a lot of freedom to make the job what I want it to be. It seems a little unstructured right now, so I want to use the time I have there to create a protocol for the individuals that are in the transitional housing that instills more accountability. Last week, I was in Salt Lake City for a conference and learned a ton about domestic violence. I felt like I knew a lot before, but man, there is always so much more out there. I know I've been blessed with a drive to help people, and I'm working hard to figure out what exactly I'm supposed to do with it. Being in social work isn't enough. I learn more things, and I get frustrated because there aren't enough hours in the day, days in the week, and I'm only one person, so where do I focus my time and energy? I found out there is a huge correlation between domestic violence and animal abuse, and I adore animals-- what can I do to help create more opportunities for survivors to place their animals in a safe haven while they seek safety? Then I learned that the Native American population is seriously lacking in allies (70% of violent crimes against women in the Native American population are commited by non-Native Americans) and that until 1982 (only 26 years ago!) 47% of Native American women of child bearing age were sterilized as mandated by the federal government and the women weren't even told! So many crazy things are happening that need attention, so figuring out where to focus is going to be interesting.

Well, Chuck just snuggled up to me, so perhaps I can attempt sleep again. Tomorrow could be a very long day if I don't conk out soon.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Forgive Peli for eating the hot pocket.

My first week at my new job consisted of a lot of the craziness that comes with starting a new job. I had to figure out what it was exactly that I'm supposed to do and the people I'm working with had to adjust to having a human being doing the things that they've been making up for the past couple months. Each day I'm finding out more and more about how the person before me didn't really do a whole lot, which makes me all the more determined to do everything I can to succeed at this job.

Pretty much, my job consists of maintaining the stats, act as landlord for the transitional apartments, make phone contacts with the aftercare clients and also make home visits. I have a large closet of donations to distribute which makes me feel a little bit like Santa, but I also have to be cold faced when they don't pay their rent and don't file an extension of cure and start the eviction process.

Friday morning, my boss called me and told me to dress for the fair. We took all the kids with some of their parents to the state fair, and it was exhausting. Fun, but exhausting. One of the very small children did not like that I wouldn't let them play the carnie games and took up saying, "You suck! Just kidding." Another small child was three and as we were leaving, I asked him to hold my hand so I wouldn't get lost (he started running ahead a lot) and he told me he was excited to see the ducks again (there were ducks at the entrance to the park). I told him he was very smart to have remembered there were ducks, and he said, "Yes. Big ducks. And they have grey faces. I like ducks." A three year old! I was amazed.

Friday afternoon, we were helping a woman move into a new apartment, and I saw some puppies. Me being me, I went over to pet the puppies. There were three of them, brindle, and were some sort of boxer mix. They were horribly skinny. I was petting them and ignoring a box that was right next to them, covered in flies, assuming it was the apartment's garbage. The owner came over and started to herd the puppies away from me, and I asked her what kind they were. She told me they were boxer/shepherd mixes, and when I said they were really cute, she said, "They're just getting over parvo. That one didn't make it." She pointed to the cardboard box, and my peripheral vision told me that a little, dead puppy was laying in the bottom. When I returned to my office (because I have an OFFICE), I called animal control and gave them the address. The dispatcher told me the puppies didn't have a chance, and the animal control officer couldn't take them to the shelter because then every other dog would get parvo. When I didn't say anything, she said she'd let the officer use his discretion.

When I hung up, I cried.

Other than that, though, I really do believe I can be good at my job (fortunately, witnessing innocent little puppies dying of parvo isn't really included in my job description). Tuesday through Friday of this week will be spent in Salt Lake City for a conference on Domestic Violence, and the keynote person is this lady:

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Officially a triathlete.

In the wee hours of the morning yesterday, my husband and myself stirred out of bed and did what no man has willingly done before-- put on our tri suits. For those of you who have never done this, a women's triathlon top is a spandex mastectomy, eliminating any and all curves in an attempt to make you more hydrodynamic (or something). I was sleepy, flat chested, and in a very cold car, preparing myself mentally for the 400 meter swim that was to take place outdoors in roughly 60 degree weather, followed by the 9 mile bike ride and the 3 mile run.

When we got in line for the swim, we were spaced apart according to how quickly we thought we could do the swim. Bobby got in the 11 minute part of the line, and I got in the 14 minute line. The race started at 8 a.m., but my feet didn't touch the water until 8:35. I watched Bobby as he swam through his group, and it was apparent that he was in the wrong swim group. He ended up swimming it in eight and a half minutes. I knew I was in the wrong group when I passed the guy in front of me before the first leg of the first lap. I completed the swim in ten and a half minutes.

After the swim, we had to scurry to the parking lot to transition to the bike. My lovely sense of direction induced a slight panic attack, because where I swore up and down I left my bike, it was not there. Before I required the paper sack to breathe into, I discovered my bike was one row over, and quickly changed into my biking attire. My husband assured me that the ride and the run would be on a flat course. Oh, silly Bobby. The ride started with a very long, moderately steep climb, and because it was a lap course, it was a climb we would have to complete twice. It didn't help that my impeccable sense of direction also sent me going the opposite way the race required, and I had to turn around. Ah, well.

When I finished the ride, I was pulling into the transition area when I saw Bobby. He had already finished the race, and met me while I was pulling on my tennis shoes. The prince charming he is, he ran the first half of the 3 miles with me. We don't have fuel belts (yet), so I was pretty dependent on the water the race staff was handing out after the giant hill in the run. When I got there, however, the water was all gone and instead, there was a cup of ice handed to me. Boo. After the first lap, Bobby complained of feeling sick to his stomach and "tired" (whatever), so I was left on my own for the last lap. We discovered yesterday that people pushed to the brink of death are very friendly, so I had no problem finding people to talk to on the run. I spent a good leg of that lap discussing century bike rides with a lady who had just completed the Ulcer earlier this year, and she gave me some helpful tips on the century we're scheduled to complete later this month (a century is a 100 mile bike ride). She got very tired, though, and I still felt pretty energetic, so I scurried over to the finish line. I finished my first triathlon without feeling like I was going to die, which was my goal after only 2 weeks of training for it.

Bobby ended up taking 2nd for his division, and naturally, because they give medals to the top three finishers in each division, I took 4th. I took 4th out of 8 in my division, though, and it was my first tri, so I'm pretty satisfied. In addition to Bobby's medal, we also took home a couple collapsable coolers, a protein shaker, and a Spoon Me gift card, because we're greedy and patient and stayed after everyone was leaving to take the raffle stuff no one picked up. Bwahaha!

On a slightly different note, I got a call Friday afternoon and was offered the job at the women's shelter that sounds like a dream come true. On Tuesday, I'll begin training to become their Aftercare Coordinator. Three cheers for helping to save the world (and for getting a pay check again). Hip, hip, HOORAY!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Barack chalk (I love Stephen Colbert)

I just finished my jog, and for the first time in a while, I thoroughly enjoyed running. The weather right now is absolutely perfect, and spent a lot of time doing self therapy. It was beautiful and I enjoyed it.

Yesterday was the first Sunday we've been able to actually serve in our calling. We've been Primary instructors for a few months now, with no children to teach. Saturday, we got the phone call that our time had come! We were going to teach three kids. I opened up the manual and made elaborate crafts to follow along the lesson in the book to teach the kids the importance of tithing. I was excited, and it's hard for me to craft without an excuse to do so. At 8 a.m. the next morning, we were in the Primary room with big smiles, ready to go through the lesson. The first two kids were Jack and Eric. Jack has been in Primary before, and had no qualms about sitting in the tiny little chair in front of the table. Eric was a little apprehensive, since this was his first time, and instead wanted to sit on the floor in front of the door. My experience with kids has taught me that if a small child wants to sit in front of the door instead of in a chair, you let him, because that's not really what's important. He feels like he has control over some part of a new situation and will be more receptive to the stuff that counts. So he sat by the door. Then in came Caitlin.

Oh, Caitlin.

First of all, our names are the same (not counting the spelling). She was wearing a bright pink dress, and looked freakishly similar to how I looked when I was little. She was also toting a stuffed duck named Ducky. When I was little, my favorite stuffed animal was a duck named Ducky. Caitlin was very shy, very quiet, and very unsure of the scary new people she was left in a room with. She was me!

Bobby was with Jack and Eric on the piano, trying to get them to sing a primary song, while I consoled Caitlin in the absence of her mother and got her to warm up a little to the idea of being in Primary. By this time, the block was half over, and the kids were not acting like they were ready for my tithing bank and the mites we had so carefully created. Instead, we got some coloring sheets of Jesus blessing the children that Jack and Caitlin worked on while Eric built a fort out of chairs. All in all, very productive, and spending time with Caitlin reminded me of how adorable I was and how adorable my kids will inevitably be, leaving me to reconsider my animosity toward the prospect of life suckers (aka offspring).

Five days from now, we'll be doing a triathlon (hence the running regularly again). Tomorrow, the rec center opens up again so we can get some swim time in. I did a BRICK a couple days ago (Bike, Run, It Can Kill), and the name doesn't lie. Holy pea soup, what a miserable feeling. I only rode 10 miles and then ran 3, and I thought my legs were cement. Fortunately, it's a nine mile ride followed by a 5k, so I know I can do that part... let's just hope I can do all of it after I've swam 400 meters. Blech.

Oh, yeah. How hilarious is this Sarah Palin nomination? Oh, McCain, is dementia starting to set in in your old, old age?