Monday, November 24, 2008

String of burned out kitchen lights.

What is it about the molding process that makes each cookie so different? The same ingredients go in, the oven preheated to the same temperature, and yet something happens. The cookie to the left of another could be the sweetest experience the tongue has ever encountered, or it could be the most bitter ever expected to endure.

My tongue has become tired of trying to guess.

Bombarded with greed and selfishness on a daily basis has become exhausting, and I cringe at the lack of emphasis on "self care" taught at Brigham Young University in their social welfare program. Chronically my web browser is brought to http://cuteoverload.com to compensate for a horrific phone call about someone experiencing domestic violence, or a client will come in and some new roadblock was created in the couple hours since we last spoke.

I miss my cat.

Bobby's therapist is really big into the "should" approach. When we feel like we're failures, it's because we're "should"-ing ourselves.

I've been should-ing myself excessively.

My head is screaming with things I want to paint on large brick walls in fluorescent colors with glow in the dark boarders, but instead I find a little solace in stalking the online classifieds and answering pleas for help with information on resources in the community. Sometimes I hope that I'll be out walking, jogging, biking, and I'll come across a little short hair tuxedo cat, and she'll want nothing more than to sleep on my chest and drip little contented saliva drips as I attempt to read around her.

When I was little, sometimes my mom would come into my room and wake me up by rubbing my feet to make them warm. It seems I've never had good circulation, as to this day my feet and hands are always icicles. She would rub my feet, and then put socks on me. After the socks were on, she would rub my feet some more, and the friction would trap the heat for a little while, and for a few fleeting moments, my toes were warm.

I kind of wish my computer screen gave off UV rays.

2 comments:

Me said...

I've often found searching through the classifieds theraputic. Or, at least it reminds me that my job may be better than others I could have.

I'd give you a cat if I could (granted, I'm allergic to them, so can't even touch them)...so I'd definitely give one to you if I had one!

Glad I'm not the only one who views UT as more materialistic than some other areas.

Mary

TPlayer said...

Get out of Provo, Katie. I promise you the whole state isn'tlike that. I need to have you and Bobby over sometime...and i once heard a speaker talk about the "should" factor, execpt she put it as "shoulding all over ourselves" (if you catch my drift with that play on words)